Mother Pecking

Real Life Mommin'

The best 1st Hipster Lumberjack Party EVER! — January 23, 2017

The best 1st Hipster Lumberjack Party EVER!

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So, my little lumberjack was turning 1 and what does that mean?! It means I survived Year 1! I survived, I conquered, I…. wait a minute, is this supposed to be all about ME….? Yes, yes it is. I am the one who gave up my life, my sleep, my hair, my flat stomach, my nerves, and my bed. So, was this party for HIM, hmmm, ask anybody that attended I’m sure they’d say ‘Hell Naw!’ And you know what? That’s just fine!

So, let’s get to the real reason I started this blog: to share my kid’s Lumberjack 1st Birthday Party photos, duh! I really do hope these give all the other mamas some awesome ideas for your little’s birthday party! It would work for lumberjack or camping or any outdoor theme. And, it was overall pretty easy to decorate, woodsy, red and black buffalo plaids, a little craft knowledge and a friend or two!

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Those sweet fat baby toes, tho! ❤ ❤

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Like, the most precious cake ever, right?!

 

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That stack of pancakes, looks like real pancakes!!!

The cake was the absolute hit of the party, well, besides the Chik-Fil-A…. whatever, good chicken nuggets make people happy!

The trail mix was obvs a bit hit, as well! We used some old cast iron pots and crocks to hold all the goodies, which included graham cracker bears, animal crackers, pretzels, M&M’s, Cheerios, raisins and nuts.

The food table also included “Campfire BBQ” and “Chip off the Ole Log” flavored chips. We labeled all the food with cute, slightly obnoxious names like this. Just used some simple coffee stirrers and some brown paper bags.

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The main man’s party attire! Full deets:
-Red & Black Buffalo Plaid Bibdana from EmmaStitch on Etsy.
-‘Wild ONE’ teepee custom onesie from Etsy.-Slim fit jeans from Old Navy (my son is a large kid, these are 24 months, and they would not button if he was sitting…. but because I have to buy them so much larger, they are way too long for him, but the cuffs are adorable.)-Speckled Grey hipster-lumberjack shoes from H&M.
-Toddler Suspenders are from Amazon.

The signs are all made from $2 chalkboards we snagged at WalMart and chalk markers!

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This guy though!! What a fun time we had with him! I saw someone else made him on Pinterest when I was searching for ideas, so we made the same one! He’s just perfect! ❤

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And what other favor could we provided that would go with the theme so perfectly? S’mores! With another cheesy quote “Take Home S’more Fun”. 😉

And, here’s my Bear Cub! 🙂 ❤

Happy Birthday Hutchinson Rhen, it really is all about you my Baby Bird.

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Why won’t he sleep….. WHY?! — October 25, 2016

Why won’t he sleep….. WHY?!

Okay, so, really, why won’t my baby sleep? I swear on my grandmother’s favorite rosary my newborn child DID NOT sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time his first several months of life! How did I survive, you ask…. To be honest, lots of coffee, prayers, and the patience of a sloth.

Baby Bird was born in October. The weather was just starting to change over to “colder than a witch’s tits in a brass bra” as they say around here, so we were mostly stuck indoors. Not that it mattered, because I didn’t have the energy, strength, or pure will power to take a walk outside anyways. Point is, I was starting to literally lose my mind. Everyday I would count down the hours to my husband walking back in the door, so I could hand over the baby and go lay down/take a bath/cry alone on the toilet/just have a friggen minute to myself.

I walked cow trails in our newly installed hardwood floors for up to 6 hours straight at a time. I had Netflix streaming constantly in the background to keep my mind preoccupied and my body going. I couldn’t sit and rock, oh no no, that was not good enough for the Bird. He had to be held in an upright position while you walked heavily and rocked him. Did he sleep? A little, but it most relaxed him. The only time he wouldn’t cry. The. Only. Time. I literally peed with him on me. Cooked with him on me. I would get him back from my husband around 8pm, he would go to bed, I would pace until anywhere from 2pm-4pm, until sheer exhaustion was overcoming me, then I would wake the hubby up and have him take over so I could get a few hours of sleep before he left for work at 6am. Up I was, starting the countdown… Only 10 hours. Oh, look, that hour went by kind of fast, 9 hours. 8 hours. 8 hours and 45 minutes, wait what?! Only 15 minutes since I last looked?! Oh gosh I’m not going to make it today. I just can’t. Then the baby has a poop-splosion and I spend an hour cleaning him, the changing table, his clothes, myself, and oh yay, just 7 hours and 15 minutes left.

I know what you’re thinking: ‘How terrible! Why aren’t you enjoying this time with your baby?’ ‘What about the little smiles you get throughout the day?’ ‘Don’t you realize how lucky you are to have this precious gift, why count down the time to get away from him? It’s bizarre. Terrible mother!’ Okay, listen, I get it, I really do. But I was exhausted. Pregnancy was rough. Delivery was traumatizing. I cherished that little boy coming in to this world in every way, but I WAS EXHAUSTED. Your body and mind can’t function in an even remotely proper way with the combined lack of sleep and the frayed nerves. I was in survival mode. Period.

Finally, around the 2-month mark I realized if I laid down on the couch at an exact angle and left him laying on his belly on my chest, (after at least 2 hours of pacing) to get him semi-asleep I COULD LAY DOWN, too! I would get nearly an hour at a time of sleep. It was my own little miracle. He woke up / roused to nurse every hour. Around the 3-month mark I discovered and perfected side-lying nursing. I would fall back asleep as he nursed. It was another little miracle.

We slept like this for his first 6 months of life. He slept on my chest, waking up hourly to nurse. I was finally able to transition him to laying beside me, where he still sleeps and I was able to get back in my own bed! Mind you, he’s a big bird. He was 17 pounds by his 3-month mark, and now at 1-year-old is a hefty 28 pounds. I didn’t care. We were sleeping.

So, why wouldn’t my baby sleep? I don’t know. The pediatricians said colic, acid reflux, allergies, out of alignment…. we tackled all of that the best we could with no solid results, besides the acid reflux medicine, it seemed to help the most for sure. But here we are, a 12-month-old that still wakes 3-7 times a night to nurse. I tell people that and they nearly faint at the thought of him waking up that much and me getting up that much with him, but to me, I don’t mind, it’s better than walking the house day and night.

Remember, when you think you have it bad, it could always be worse! You could have a little person cling to your nipples 7 times a night, while your husband lays 3 feet away wondering when he will ever get to cling to your nipples again…..

My Nips are Bleeding…. — October 21, 2016

My Nips are Bleeding….

Yes, I know, Lanolin Oil! Lots of it! LOTS. OF. IT! But, when you have a newborn that nurses for 1 entire hour at a time 11 times a day, that friggen oil can only help so much. My advice? Get used to it! Yeah, that’s terrible advice, but you eventually do.

I remember Baby Bird being glued to my breast, and I would just sit and cry while he fed. He was so content, so happy to be there just nourishing his little body, and I was in tears. I’m sure it had something to do with the whole “I-just-birthed-this-thing-and-my-hormones-are-crazy” time period. But I was in tears, a lot.

It hurt. They told me “It does not hurt if you are doing it right”, “Unlatch and relatch”, “Unlatch and switch sides”, “Train him the right way”…. Umm, what? I work hard for that latch, I am NOT redoing it. I’ll just suffer. Baby finishes nursing, immediately apply Lanolin. Less than 1 hour later, baby ready to nurse again, peel my oil-stained bra off my nipple, wipe clean with nipple cloths, do it again. Like, the oil didn’t even have enough time to stay on to help.

So, the day my baby spit up blood was a real f’in doozy. Panic. Sheer panic set in. Is that blood? Is that red? It is brown? It’s a clot! Why did he spit up a clot of blood? Oh my goodness, run away. His throat is split, he has internal bleeding, he isn’t breathing right…. just a few of the insane thoughts that went through my head. So, what did we do? Turned to Google of course — I’ve said this 1,000 times and I’ll say it 1,000 more: Google helped me raise my baby. 100%. Props Google. They really do have the best search engine. It understand insane mom questions on the daily. Anyways, what did Google say? It said that more than likely the blood was MINE, and baby’s belly can’t digest that, so it must come back up. But, were mine actually BLEEDING? Like, really?! Okay, slightest sigh of relief.

I knew they were cracked but I hadn’t seen actually blood! Only way to check? Learn how to operate than damn loud pump. I untangled the cords, revved it up and pumped. I didn’t see a speck of blood. Nothing. Panic sets in again. I stored it in the fridge, as one article told me, it must settle then you will see it. Well, that takes hours! Hours! So, as I am trying to convince my husband to call the doctor, it happens again. More spit up full of blood. Tears. Lots of tears. I nursed, called friends and family; “Has this ever happened to you? To anyone you know? Is Google right? Wrong? Please help me.” Eventually the fat had separated and the milk had settled, sure enough the blood was in the bottom. That meant Baby Bird was fine and it was me! You ever thought you would thank Baby Jesus for bleeding nipples? Welcome to motherhood.

$h^t is Important…. — October 20, 2016

$h^t is Important….

So, here I am a day late… imagine that, right?

My Baby Bird’s poop was a helluva topic for the first weeks, don’t get me wrong, it’s still a topic, just not as important of one as it used to be. My husband still asks me on the daily, “Did he poop this morning?”, “Was it normal?”, “Was it his regular time?”, “Did it smell the same, or worse?”…. He seems to be more amused by it, because he rarely changes one. Don’t get me wrong, he changes plenty of diapers, but Baby Bird’s poop time happens to be after he has left for work in the mornings, and that’s typically it, one poop. If more than that, it’s at least 13 more questions.

He is a breastfed baby, which as many moms know, leads to more pleasant smelling fecal matter. I was also taking a lovely licorice-smelling milk booster known as Fenugreek Seed, which supposedly added to the better smelling diapers. So, what happens when it’s different? When I wake up to change a poop-splosion and it’s less seedy than it has been, or a different shade of green, or the 6th of the day…. well, you ask Google, of course!

Google gives you a different answer than the hubs, then you argue over it. ‘Well, this article says not to worry’, ‘well this article says he needs to go to the ER’, but why?! ‘Like why the ER?’ ‘BECAUSE it’s this shade of green’. So, we argue. We tote the baby around. Taking turns blessing him because it may or may not be the end. Because, if we stay home we could risk it, but if we take a newborn to the ER we risk his health and all the measles, mumps, rubella, and AIDS….. yes, yes, let’s roll our eyes, but everything becomes life or death with a newborn and new parents.

Meanwhile, the baby is sleeping soundly and we’re no contemplating divorce because we can’t agree on anything, and we’ve discovered just how different we are. I simply can’t be married to a man who would rather listen to Google than an actual doctor, and he simply can’t be stay in a relationship with a woman who thinks this-color-green poop requires a midnight visit to the ER, and NOT the ER of the town we are, because she doesn’t trust them, but the ER one state over…….

Mother Pecker’s First Post — October 18, 2016

Mother Pecker’s First Post

Wow, so here it is…. my first “Mom Blog”. Ya know, I never expected to be the mom writing the blog, but unbeknownst to me I was going to birth a Hellcat Monster of a kid and have more knowledge to share than I ever anticipated.

So, let me introduce myself, I am Keisha, and shall refer to myself here on out as Mother Pecker. [Insert eye roll here.] I was given, errr blessed, with a baby boy in October of 2015. Here we are in October of 2016 before I have even had a minute to share some thoughts; fist pump first-time moms; be honest, we had no idea what we were getting into…

Anyways, I own my own business, but am lucky enough to only have to show up 3 days a week to. I have a lovely employee two days, and my dad runs it the other day free-of-charge, as I would have no dollas to pay him, so he has no choice. So, that leaves my kid 3 days a week at home alone, ha, just kidding, worse: it leaves him in daycare. I’m even kidding on that, we have a wonderful daycare. But, the best part, leaves me to spend 4 whole entire days a week with him! 24 hours a day, and he uses every. last. hour. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, what’s up with my husband? He too has his own business. He chooses to make money though, as we have to to survive and works minimum 5 days a week, and typically evenings and at least a small job on the weekend. He’s a finish carpenter, not that it matters, but it does, because when my Baby Bird is big enough to learn, he will teach him everything! My husband can literally do anything and everything, and do it better than most anyone else. That’s why he will never not have work, even if I’m the one that give it to him.

Well, now you know the gist, I will return tomorrow with a wonderful story of marital strain based solely on the color of your child’s poop….