So, here I am a day late… imagine that, right?

My Baby Bird’s poop was a helluva topic for the first weeks, don’t get me wrong, it’s still a topic, just not as important of one as it used to be. My husband still asks me on the daily, “Did he poop this morning?”, “Was it normal?”, “Was it his regular time?”, “Did it smell the same, or worse?”…. He seems to be more amused by it, because he rarely changes one. Don’t get me wrong, he changes plenty of diapers, but Baby Bird’s poop time happens to be after he has left for work in the mornings, and that’s typically it, one poop. If more than that, it’s at least 13 more questions.

He is a breastfed baby, which as many moms know, leads to more pleasant smelling fecal matter. I was also taking a lovely licorice-smelling milk booster known as Fenugreek Seed, which supposedly added to the better smelling diapers. So, what happens when it’s different? When I wake up to change a poop-splosion and it’s less seedy than it has been, or a different shade of green, or the 6th of the day…. well, you ask Google, of course!

Google gives you a different answer than the hubs, then you argue over it. ‘Well, this article says not to worry’, ‘well this article says he needs to go to the ER’, but why?! ‘Like why the ER?’ ‘BECAUSE it’s this shade of green’. So, we argue. We tote the baby around. Taking turns blessing him because it may or may not be the end. Because, if we stay home we could risk it, but if we take a newborn to the ER we risk his health and all the measles, mumps, rubella, and AIDS….. yes, yes, let’s roll our eyes, but everything becomes life or death with a newborn and new parents.

Meanwhile, the baby is sleeping soundly and we’re no contemplating divorce because we can’t agree on anything, and we’ve discovered just how different we are. I simply can’t be married to a man who would rather listen to Google than an actual doctor, and he simply can’t be stay in a relationship with a woman who thinks this-color-green poop requires a midnight visit to the ER, and NOT the ER of the town we are, because she doesn’t trust them, but the ER one state over…….

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